Taking Back Power!

A swift kick in the pants. Putting one in their place. A slap in the face. A dose of reality. A quick jab to the stomach. (Take your pick, I got more).

I am so grateful for true friends who aren’t afraid to tell you something straight up and who won’t let you get away with ‘justified’ destructive thinking or behaviors. I am grateful for true friends who know and see your potential and won’t let you settle for anything less. It is through these kinds of true friends that can spark significant changes in our lives. A spark of change has been ignited in me because of such a friend. Thanks!

This past week has been quite the roller coaster for me. Spending time at D&N’s large house is quite lonely and due to such circumstances I allowed myself to fall back into some old habits and a state of mind that wasn’t healthy physically or mentally for me. I then used the state I was in as justification for my actions saying, “Well, because I’m like this…I can’t do this or that…” Or, “Because I’m like this… I don’t have the motivation to do this or that…” I had a lot of vain hopes that only brought disappointment, which caused me to spiral even further downward. It was a pretty low and sad state I had pulled myself into.

When I was at the lowest point all week, when I was about to give into something that I had been fighting and praying to have the strength not to do, I received a phone call from a good friend of mine. A true friend of mine. When discovering what state I was in she did not hesitate for one second to give me a swift kick in the pants and a dose of reality, which put me back in my place and realigned my focus and perspective to where it should be. Yes, it has a hard blow to take with my thoughts being along the lines of, “She did not just say that to me! RUDE! That was so insensitive!” But quickly letting go of my pride, which this true friend of mine has also helped me to do, I let her words sink in and that’s when I realized how right she was and how wrong I had been.

She taught me something that I already knew but had allowed myself to become blinded to by my own unrecognized decisions that had led me to the state I was currently in. In six words she sparked a change in me, “You have the power to decide.” With further wisdom from her regarding power she pointed out that I was deciding to give my power to Satan, which was enabling him with a greater amount of power than he already had on his own and which allowed him to use the power I was giving him against me. She then opened my eyes for me to see how I could use the power I have for good; to bring happiness and redemption into my life instead of misery and hell.

Her words had such an impact on me that I literally felt my heart fill with a genuine desire to take back the power I had given to Satan and use it to bring back happiness and redemption into my life. Energy surged through my body that greatly empowered me to turn my heart’s desire into action.

Our conversation ended while I was on my way to Idaho Falls to run an errand and instead of turning up the volume to listen to my music I pondered upon the conversation I had just had and allowed the Spirit to work within me. The Spirit brought many thoughts, questions, and insights to me during my drive to and from Idaho Falls that only brought about a greater desire to use the power I had for good in my life as well as in other people’s lives. Some of these thoughts included:

- What am I allowing to stop me?
- Am I going to lose the war over myself by allowing the every day battles to win?
- What do I want in the end? What am I doing today to get myself there?
- Each day is a gift from God. How am I using this gift He’s given me? Will He be happy with the person I am at the end of the day?
- How am I prohibiting my own freedom?
- How am I allowing myself to succumb to Satan’s power?
- Does Satan rejoice or despise me waking up each morning?
- Agency = Power
- “Because I can and so I will!” If I want to do something I should do it because I can (as long as I stay within laws, boundaries, commandments, and covenants).

Having these questions run through my mind and answering them personally I was more clearly able to see how I was dragging myself down, but also how I could use that same power to bring myself up and to continue to strive for my potential.

By the time I returned to Rexburg I had the power to conquer the world! I felt such a significant change inside my heart that it drove me to make changes and decisions about my life physically, mentally, spiritually, and socially.

So right when I got home I geared up to hit the road on my bike. I hadn’t gone out all week due to the state I had drug myself into. But I wanted to begin to take back power and I decided to start with biking. I rode out nearby to where my “secret spot” is and took in all the beauty that surrounded me and thought back upon the last time I was at my secret spot and how much that meant to me. The ride out there was glorious; it was filled with fond memories, the fresh and empowering desire to change, a altering of my attitude, and of course the beautiful surroundings of spring flowers, the smell of rain in the air, and all of the other elements of nature I love! The ride back was amazing in its own way. I biked against a very strong headwind the entire way back; so strong at times that I was using all my strength to keep moving and stay upright. I felt that this wind was a test to see how committed I was to taking back power into my life. Was I going to let it lick me and get the best of me? Or was I going to see it as a challenge and opportunity for increase growth and strength? With the latter perspective in focus I stood up on my bike and used every ounce of strength and energy I had to keep going against the strong wind. When I arrived home I felt so rejuvenated, not just physically but in every aspect of my life.

Although what my friend said to me has sparked and ignited a change in me, it doesn’t mean that there won’t still be battles to face each day because each day comes with its own set of trials and opposition. The difference is now that I know that I have the power to decide whether I am going to use that power to bring happiness and redemption into my life or misery and hell. I chose happiness and redemption and I pray that everybody will too recognize the power within them and also choose each day to bring that same happiness and redemption into their own life.

I am so grateful and will forever be indebted to my amazing friend who had the courage to say what she did to me. I am grateful that she didn’t play into my sob story or allow me to continue in my own self-created pity party or allow me to get away with anything. I am grateful for a true friend who saw that I was better than the state I was in, who sees who I truly am, and who knows and sees who I can become. What she taught me that day will have an impact on me for the rest of my life. What she taught was truth and truth is never forgotten. Thank you for being the sparked that ignited this change in my life that will have lasting eternal effects on me.