Back to the Drawing Table

When push comes to shove and pennies start to get pinched it's back to the drawing table for me. That is...the plasma drawing table. Call it what you want; selling myself, prostitution of the blood, or, my personal favorite, saving a life. Today was my first day back donating after exactly a year of absence...and a bad experience. But sometimes a lack creates a drive to do things despite the costs to receive the benefit. There is purpose to this effort...


A year ago I bought a plane ticket to fly to Texas to spend Christmas with my family, but being asked to work the Christmas holiday I credited my ticket to use within the year. But to my dismay I discovered in order to use my credited ticket I needed to complete a trip by November 15th, pay $150 to redeem the ticket, plus the difference in the cost of the new ticket. WHAT!?! That throws going to Texas for Christmas OR Thanksgiving this year right out the window. So...doing a complete circle, we're back at the drawing table.

Guilty Until Proven Worthy of Mercy

Me: Hello Officer.
Officer: Hello. I pulled you over for speeding. Do you know how fast you were going?
Me: When I saw you and looked down at my speedometer it said 31mph.
Officer: I clocked you going at 35.
Me: I think my speedometer is off (it really is - I was previously ticketed for going 75 when my cruise control was set at 72).
Officer: Well, even if it was off 3 or 4mph you'd still be 6mph over the speed limit. I would feel comfortable pulling someone over for going 5mph over the speed limit on this street.
Me: Yes sir.
Officer: Do you have your license, insurance, and registration? ... (lingering with my information, I was hoping/praying he was just going to look at it and give me a warning). Thank you, I'll be right back.

........

Officer: Even though I clocked you going 10 over the speed limit at 35mph I only wrote you a ticket for going 34mph, which is a $75.00 ticket. (Handed me the ticket)
Me: Thank you officer.
Officer: Driving down this road at this time the sun is in your eyes and there are kids living along here. You need to slow it down a bit. Even going 25mph could cause serious injury.
Me: Yes sir.
Officer: You will need to pay this ticket by October 25th, so I am giving you a month to pay it. Do you know where the Court House is?
Me: Yep! I spent 4 hours there with one of my clients today.
Officer: Why?
Me: We were getting a restraining order filed against her boyfriend who beat her up over the weekend.
Officer: What kind of work do you do?
Me: I'm a PSR worker.
Officer: Hand me that ticket.

I grabbed the ticket from my console and handed it back to him not knowing what he was going to do with it. He held it like he was about to rip it in half, but then just folded it up a few times.

Officer: I'll take care of this for you.
Me (shocked): THANK YOU OFFICER!! THANK YOU!!
Officer: Our jobs aren't much different, except that you have to spend a lot more time with those people. You have yourself a better evening!
Me: THANK YOU!!

Having received only two tickets in my life (two too many) this is the first one that I have "gotten out of" and it was AFTER the officer had already written and given me the ticket! I could not believe it! I feel SO relieved and very blessed!

Now, to celebrate.....

Self Proclaimed Diagnosis

Patient: Rachel (aka: Iron Maiden)
Age: 26
Sex: Female
Height: 5'8''
Weight: Classified
Symptom Classification: EXTREME
Symptoms: build up of excessive energy, heightened anxiety, fidgety, day dreaming of intense outdoor activities, often squirmy, continual unsatisfied yearnings, dullness in day to day ritual activities, ticking bomb, nightmares of being in a straight jacket, falling asleep while working with clients at work, pacing, inadequate feeling of satisfaction in life, slight psychotic behavior due to extreme inexpressible cravings for adventure
Diagnoses: A.D.D. > ADVENTURE DEFICIT DISORDER

CODE RED :: CODE RED :: CODE RED :: CODE RED :: CODE RED :: CODE RED

Prescription: training by means of biking, rock climbing, swimming, weight lifting, snow boarding, running, various high-energy sports, healthy eating, sporadic activity, cross country skiing, long boarding, slack lining, canoeing, and hiking for the ADVENTURE XTREME SERIES and the STP
Follow Up: reassess patient's A.D.D. in 6 to 9 months on March 27, 2010 and July 18, 2010

Disclaimer: Although the author of this post is a certified EMT and is unable to make medical diagnoses by law, she is making this self diagnoses through self-exploration. In no way is the author of this post attempting in any form to belittle, make fun of, or disrespect the true and serious implications of A.D.D.

Unforgotten Challenge

So in the beginning of the year I gave myself a challenge to learn one new thing each month and post about it. The last challenge I posted was way back in May. I started to feel a little disappointed that I had let myself slip a bit until I began looking back over my posts. I have been able to stay true to this challenge, I just haven't specifically defined those posts as the fulfillment of the month's challenge. So in review, here are my successful monthly challenges since May:

June: I learned through experience for the first time how to have a yard sale.

July: I learned all I could about triathlons, how to train for them, and then applied the knowledge. I successfully completed the triathlon in August, but July was my month of learning.

August: I learned by both failed and successful attempts how to make homemade ice cream. I have an almost no-brainer ice cream maker machine, but have had a few things not turn out as expected. The last attempt, vanilla 'n peaches didn't set up right at the end like it should have but turned out absolutely delicious. The next attempt, vanilla 'n blackberries will be an excuse to try to get it right. Post to come.

Rush Triathlon

I know you guys are just dying to hear about my experience participating in my first triathlon. Well, let me be the first to tell you that it was nothing less than A.M.A.Z.I.N.G! Every leg of the race was a challenge in different ways and on different levels. The experience as a whole was exhausting yet worth the adrenaline pumping through your veins and the on-top-of-the-world feeling when you cross the finish line. Did I already mention it was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G? Just wanted to clarify. Ok, enough with the amazingness, let's get to the race.

The morning started out early - too early - 5:30am early. Prior to my alarm going off I had a bad dream that I had missed the triathlon completely. I awoke and frantically looked for my phone to see the time. 5:14am. Phew. I didn't sleep for the remaining minutes before my alarm went off in fear of missing the triathlon. Making it to Rainbow Lake shortly after 6:00am I began setting up my transition area between the swimming and biking events. I planned it so I would not have to do any kind of set up at the second transition area, but just rack my bike and go.

The .5 mile swimming portion of the triathlon was first and began at 8:10am. I reached my goal during training to swim a half mile (32 laps in a pool) non-stop. I was confident that I could swim the distance but nervous about my performance in open water (since I had not trained in it at all), as well as swimming with a LOT of other people in very close proximity.

I am making the final preparations before the swimming portion of the triathlon was to begin. Rainbow Lake is in the background. To see the course I swam, click here.

This is my "What in the world did I get myself into?" look.

Before events like this I tend to always feel nauseous right before the event is about begin due to an increased level of anxiety. My face clearly expresses this.

And I'm off!

The water was actually really warm; warmer than the air temperature. After getting in the lake I realized that I could have ditched the wetsuit altogether. And I wish I had. I had not trained in my wetsuit and it threw me for a loop when I began swimming. Because my wetsuit is quite thick (one of the thickest ones you can find) the effort to swim in it increased dramatically resulting in a quicker loss of energy. The resistance I felt with each stroke was a struggle and it threw off my entire rhythm of swimming that I had trained my body in. I had a fantastic start, but it didn't last for long.

It took me quite some time, but I finally got into a good rhythm of swimming. I quickly found out that this rhythm was often throw off by the collisions of swimmers. Several times I had to completely stop swimming to allow another swimmer who had just plowed into me to pass in order for me to keep swimming. The low visibility in the murky water didn't help the situation. I eventually learned to keep swimming no matter who hit me or who I hit. Just keep swimming.

After getting out of the lake I had to run down a pathway (between the two orange fencing in the background) into the transition staging area and find my bike to begin the second leg of the triathlon, a 14.22 mile bike ride. To see a map of the biking course, click here. As I ran to where my bike was located I pulled my wetsuit off halfway, buying me time during my transition. In the picture you can see me coming up to my bike with my wetsuit at my waist.

I struggled taking off my wetsuit because it caught on the timer I was wearing around my ankle. This was another thing I had not anticipated but with slight frustration managed to finally pull it completely off. Next I just had to slip on my sock, shoes, slide on my sunglasses, and snap my helmet on.

And I'm off!

I had biked the route for this leg of the triathlon before and found it rather difficult, partly because I was sick at the time. I was a little nervous about struggling up the steep hills like I had previous, but knew the route like the back of my hand from biking it so many times while attending college. Surprisingly, the hardest sections of the biking route did not challenge me as greatly as they had before, but were in fact just something to get through without significant grueling effort. I attribute this greatly to the 21 mile bike ride I had done several days previous to the triathlon where 90% of it was uphill.

Another factor that had come to mind late the night prior to the race was the temperature during the biking portion. The crisp morning air would still be lingering. The nip in the air was magnified by a breeze and the wet clothes I was wearing. I had goose bumps the entire biking portion of the triathlon. In fact, my whole body was completely numb by the time I finished those 14.22 miles that when I got off my bike I could barely move, nonetheless run my bike to the transition staging area to put in on the rack.

It took my body about a mile of running for my almost frozen blood to thaw out, warm up, and return to it's normal flow rate. The 3.07 running portion of the triathlon was the most challenging for me because my body could barely move for the first mile and the beginning of the second mile was a steep dirt trail. The last mile was some downhill and three-quarters around a track. As you might be able to tell by the picture above (which was taken right before entering the track) that I was struggling to keep myself going. To see a map of the running course, click here.

But I finished strong!

My Final Times:

Swim: 00:26:23.015 / 7th place in my age division
T1: 00:02:58.667
Bike: 00:54:28.339 / 10th place in my age division
T2: 00:01:38.939
Run: 00:36:28.145 / 18th in my age division

Final Results: 02:01:57.1 / 8th place in my age division / 138 place of 411 participants overall

I couldn't believe the results when I saw them! I have never done this well in a competition before. I was pretty stoked! I still am.

Training Update

The last two weeks have flown by, but I have seen great improvement in my training since I started, which is a relief. I am beginning to feel like I won't utterly kill myself by the end of the triathlon race.

My biggest weakness has been in swimming. When I was young I was a pretty decent swimmer. I loved it. People often asked if I was on a swim team or suggested that I should be on one. I didn't ever make it there, but was inspired to became a lifeguard instead due to saving the lives of three people from drowning. Well, those summer days sitting high on the lifeguard chair came to a close and my love for swimming quickly diminished by the freezing body of water that was the only option to swim in.

When I first began swimming laps at the local aquatic center two weeks ago I made it about two laps (50 meters) before almost drowning myself due to lack of oxygen and exhaustion. (2 LAPS!) It was at that point that I had the thought that I was in over my head in signing up for this triathlon. But persistence pays off my friends! On Saturday I swam nearly a mile without coming close to drowning or getting completely exhausted. I have been building up each time I have gone to swim laps by breaking up how many laps I swim in each set. Saturday I warmed up for 10 laps doing several different types of strokes, swam 16 laps (a quarter of a mile), rested, and then swam another 16 laps, plus an additional cool down laps. That's quite an improvement if I don't say so myself.

The challenge next is to swim all 32 laps without stopping and then practice swimming in open water in my wetsuit. The advantage with a wetsuit is that it helps you float, keeping your body parallel with the water which makes swimming a lot more efficient. At least I know I won't drown during this event because my wetsuit is also my flotation device.

My main focus has been on the swimming training, but I have also trained here and there for the biking and running section. This week I am putting the finishing touches on training so I will be prepared to get out there and cross that finish line in one piece and still breathing.

5 days and counting....


On another update note:

- The owner of the house I am renting from has decided to put her house up for sale. A realtor has already come by to price the house and both the owner and her maintenance guy have been busily getting the house into tip-top shape. They offered for me to move with them to the house that the owner wishes to purchase, but I am wanting to stay in my branch boundaries. With the housing market these days I am not too concerned about being homeless anytime soon. But, back to house hunting once again.

- I am getting the swing of things with work and have trained most of my clients pretty well with having a set, consistent schedule each week with them. This is a HUGE help to getting in my hours and reducing the rate of cancellation each week, not to mention my sanity. But as of today I lost HALF of my clients - three out of town for a month, one going into a 90-day treatment program (teenager), and the last refusing service until her daughter is out of her 90-day treatment program. In my nearly two months of working I have worked over 30 hours ONCE in a week. Having 5 clients drop out from under my feet is not helping. I'm seriously considering other employment that will guarantee me full-time hours so I can at least have enough to pay my bills. So, back to the dreaded job search again....blah.

It's Official!

I am doing a triathlon.

I have played with the idea of participating in the triathlon long enough. Only knowing that I would regret the decision not to do a triathlon I registered today for the Rexburg Rush Triathlon. With a week of training behind me and 18 days left until the race begins on August 15th I am determined to do what it takes.

The Rush Triathlon offers two different levels of racing - Intermediate and Sprint. I will be participating in the Sprint race. To see a map of the .56 mile swimming course click here, for the 14.22 biking course click here, and for the 3.07 running course click here, and to get a glimpse of a triathlon click here.

I welcome any pointers, comments, or suggestions that might help me in my training or in the actual race. I have never participated in a triathlon before or seen an actual race. I am learning as I go and hope it'll all work out in the end.

The clock is ticking...

One of the few Places

In my life's experience I have found only a few places that offer pure peace and inner fulfillment. Nature is one of them. Taking a bike ride along the road that snakes around the Palisade reservoir was a place that offered these simple yet powerful and needed things.

Tour de Casa

As some of you already know I have moved from small-town Rexburg to the thriving metropolis of Idaho Falls. Believe it or not, there is quite a different feeling here in Idaho Falls compared to Rexburg. Besides not being in a bubble, Idaho Falls feels like a much larger city solely because of the mass amount of vehicles on the roads! It feels like it's always rush-hour. Ok, that might be a little of an exaggeration, but not by far. There's a lot of people here.

I moved to Idaho Falls in order to save money on commuting from Rexburg each day for work. Gas wasn't the only thing that my truck was guzzling. Being located in Idaho Falls for just one week has already proven to be wallet-friendly. I live just a few blocks away from the Idaho Falls Temple and the airport in a quiet neighborhood. This location is near the agency I work for as well as the clients I work with. Again, saving me some pennies.

I am renting a room in a split level home that houses three other females and four dogs. I found that renting a room that already included utilities, wireless internet, and a washer/dryer was much cheaper than finding a place of my own. So, here I am:

The front of the home that I am living in. The windows to the right of the front door are the kitchen windows. (Not pictured: two trees on the right side of the house that is perfect for setting up my slack-line!).

Walking in the front door and turning to your left you have a set of stairs going up and a set of stairs going down. I live in one of the two rooms downstairs. (Not pictured: The upstairs livingroom straight ahead from the front door and the kitchen to the right of the front door).

The bathroom, which is located on the left at the bottom of the stairs. Can you tell which side of the sink is mine? (Door of bathroom is pictured in previous picture).

Across the hallway from the bathroom is my bedroom. This picture was taken standing in my doorway. I love the large window in my bedroom that is ground level allowing LOTS of natural light into my room, which I LOVE. Each room in the house comes with it's own ceiling fan. A nice and needed feature since there isn't air conditioning.

Another nice feature of my bedroom, opposite my bed, is my double door full-size closet. The closet runs the whole length of wall in addition to the bedroom door.

Coming out of my bedroom and taking a right (or a left coming out of the bathroom) you enter the kitchen and livingroom area. Walking through the doorway (pictured on the left side of the above picture) the kitchen is to the left. It features a range that looks like it came from the 60's, a small refridgerator that barely fits two people's worth of food in it after great organizational efforts, and minimal cupboard space. (I thought I moved out of college housing....)

We have a lovely back porch table in the dining area that is opposite the range/refridgerator. We don't use it to sit and eat from, but it houses the microwave and other personal kitchen appliances. But a much grateful addition to the kitchen/dinning room is the pantry, which is behind the two doors shown in the right side of the picture. The far door has shelves whereas the forefront door is open for storage/broom and dustpan (for the carpeted kitchen/dinning room) and other oddities.

After walking through the doorway and looking to your right we have the livingroom. It features my camping chair, a back porch lounge chair and a little plastic table (which are used on very rare occassions). As useful decoration we have my mountain bike, longboard, and road bike. Can ones livingroom be more complete? The doorway seen in the above picture leads to the backyard....

Remember how this home houses FOUR dogs? I discovered upon walking out the downstairs doorway that the backyard is all four dog's bathroom. I don't think an open bedroom window or backyard lounging will be frequent, if at all. The odd yellow tube you see in the picture is a training toy for the dogs. The owner of the home is going to school to become a dog trainer. This is one of many other dog training toys in the backyard. It's a pretty backyard, but prefer not to expose myself to the natural dog aromas present there.

The whole house in carpeted with the exception of the upstairs kitchen and entry way. I'm not used to stepping out of the shower or walking into the kitchen and have carpet for the flooring. It is one of the many older homes that populates Idaho Falls.

I have also discovered after moving in that I basically have the whole downstairs to myself, besides the shelving/cupboards of the kitchen and bathroom that I share. My downstairs roommate spends her life outside of work in her large bedroom watching TV and movies with her dog, only coming out for food and bathroom breaks for her and her dog. I can count the number of times I have seen her on one hand and have only spoken to her once, where she 'laid the law' down about living downstairs. The other two girls upstairs (the owner and her cousin) are unseen beings as well. They also spend their time in front of the TV upstairs with the livingroom entry way door closed. All I hear from them is, "Ah ah ah ah, nooooo. Sit!" Or other very similar variations of their dog commands.

This being only a temporary living situation I have only unpacked the basics plus a few decorations to make it a little more homey. And for my own entertainment purposes I get on my bike and explore the area to discover places and things in Idaho Falls that are hidden treasures not seen from the roads and routes I take daily for work.

Lives On

In memory of a sweet friend who passed away. My heart, prayers, and love go out to the family.

Running for my Liberty

I had been contemplating running in the Rexburg 5K Liberty run for a couple weeks. I have found that it is easier and more motivational for me to participate in such activities when I have others doing it right along with me, but I have also realized that each time I have been involved in such activities over the past year or so I have found that there hasn't been somebody there with me, but that I have had to have my own motivational reason to participate, which is probably why I signed up for the race 2-days prior to the 4th of July. I finally made the decision to run, not because there was somebody to run with (because there wasn't), but to run for the cause of my freedoms that I enjoy in America.

I had no training behind me to run the 3.1 miles, but that distance is nothing compared to the half marathon I ran a year ago. Piece of cake, right? I must admit that I didn't have the same organ exploding feelings during my half marathon that I had running this 5K. Finishing the half marathon was a lot more exhilirating than the 5K, but that was probably because I didn't feel like all my organs were almost in complete failure. But, I am pleased with the time that I did run the 5K in; a lot faster than I had expected, especially having walked a couple times during my run.

34:05!

Despite the way our country has changed recently and the direction it is headed in, I am grateful for the liberties and freedoms that I enjoy. This country is truly a promised land.

Clear Waters

For my first hike of the summer season I made my way up a new trail that I have never hiked on before to the Lower Palisades lake. The Lower and Upper Palisades lake are located in the mountains that surround Swan Valley, Idaho. These lakes flow into the Palisades Reservoir, which (along with other reservoirs) supply all of Southeastern Idaho with water. Due to the constant rain we have been receiving for the last long-while Southeast Idaho is overflowing with water. The rivers are high. The canals are high. And all of the reservoirs are at their maximum capacity or greater.

The rivers and canals that weave in and out of the cities have turned into a chocolate milk color because of the level of the water and how fast it is flowing. Debris, and even logs, can often be see traveling downstream. It was refreshing and a joy to hike along this clear, aqua-green mountain river.




After a beautiful four-mile hike you come to Lower Palisades lake. This lake wasn't as big as I had envisioned it being, but it was nonetheless worth it. I was disappointed with how little lake-side access there was, but was content sitting perched on some boulders overlooking the shimmering lake. As I hiked around to the other end of the lake I was able to get down by the river's edge and skip some rocks.

View looking upstream

View from the other side - looking downstream

I wanted to make it to the Upper Palisades lake, which is a 9 mile hike one way, but I started my hike too late in the day to make it any further than the Lower Palisades lake. To make up for it I took myself on a drive to see the 16,000 acre Palisades Reservoir since I had never seen it before. It was a beautiful and peaceful scenic drive! It felt good to be by a large body of water again; a part of me misses the ocean I spent so many years living by.

All In A Daze Work

I have completed my first week of training as a Psycho-social Rehabilitation (PSR) worker with the Beehive Rehabilitation & Counseling agency I recently got hired on with. As I PSR worker I work with a number of different individuals who are struggling with one or more diagnosed mental illnesses including: Major Depression, Schizophrenia, Schizoaffective Disorder, Dual Diagnosis (combination of a mental illness and substance abuse/addiction), Bipolar Disorder, Panic Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, & Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

I discovered with Beehive Rehabilitation that the majority of the clients are adults with the average age being 50 years old. I was not expecting this since the two other agencies I interviewed with and the majority of other agencies I applied for work mostly with the young to teen age range. I was a bit disappointed when discovering this because my experience has been with the youth and I was wanting to continue working with that age range. But I am looking forward to working with these adults to gain new experience and to balance out the experience I already have. I do have one teenage client, which I am excited about.

My first week of training consisted of shadowing a number of other PSR workers each day. I was able to meet their clients, be exposed to their mental illnesses, and get an idea of how to work with these individuals to help them with coping/management skills and to meet their goals in a number of different areas including: Psychiatric, Health/Medical, Vocational/Educational, Financial, Social, Family, Basic Living Skills, Housing, & Community/Legal.

The first couple of days of training I felt like I was apart of a taxi company. I spent the entire day in a car as the clients got shuttled to and from places that they needed to go. There wasn't a whole lot of talking/discussing going on and so I didn't understand our purpose other than to drive people around. It wasn't until day three that I was able to understand that the driving around and doing specific things were apart of the goals that these clients had, even though it wasn't specifically talked about or addressed. Once I understood this I was able to grasp the job of a PSR worker better and begin to brainstorm the things I could do to help my future clients with their needs/goals.

The first week went by so quickly and each day I came home exhausted. With everything that I learned, with all the clients I met, and all that I was exposed to I felt like I was walking around in a complete daze; my head stuck in a cloud. So many things to remember. So many things to know. So many things to learn! I am once again re-learning how to not take work home with me. These individuals carry a lot of emotional baggage and can be really emotionally draining. I had forgotten this aspect of jobs like this, but as I once learned it at Anasazi I know that I can re-learn it with this job as well.

Nearing the end of my shadowing experience I was 'thrown to the wolves', one could say. I was given a client whose life has been turned upside down due to some family circumstances and has become one of the most challenging clients at Beehive Rehabilitation. I was also given a mother and daughter to work with as well. As I have spent several hours with these two my mind has been brought back to the week on the trail at Anasazi where I was able to walk with a mother and her daughter. It was one of my hardest weeks on the trail but it is proving to become a great tool as I am beginning to work with this mother and daughter. A new level of gratitude for that hard week on the trail has been gained.

I am on my own now. No more shadowing, but jumping in and getting my hands dirty. I am a bit nervous and apprehensive about my first week on my own, but as I have started this job I have been blessed with the peace that I can do it. It will take some time to smooth out all the wrinkles and rough edges, but I am excited to learn and to step up to the challenges and growing experiences.

I have decided to move to Idaho Falls because the cost of commuting back and forth each day will be money lost and money out of my pocket. I am hoping to do so within the next couple of weeks, but am still searching to find a place that is the best fit for me. The next few weeks should be an adventure....

Put On Your Dancing Shoes

Tonight I went dancing for the first time in a VERY long time. I am not much of a dancer. There is a reason why I played sports that didn't need very much coordination with your feet; I have very little! And it is obvious.

The young man I went with was very kind, patient, and gracious. He handled my inability to dance very well. I never understood why the lights at dances were always dimmed, until tonight. It is for the purpose of hiding the unskilled dancers whose faces are beaming red from embarrassment. I can attest to that.

Another thing that I learned about dancing tonight will probably stay with me for the rest of my life. As much as I love and wear Chaco sandals I will never wear them dancing again. I am sure they can be worn for less intense dancing, but for the triple step or polka they are out of the question. (But then again, it could have been caused by my poor attempt at trying to dance these different dance styles). Two abrasions and one large blister taught this to me, not to mention a few smashed toes from being stepped on. I had felt bad for him because of the huge gap between our dancing skills. I made it clear that if he never asked me to go dancing again I wouldn't be offended in the least bit.

But I admit, despite my battle wounds and my not so talented skill of dancing I still had a good time and enjoyed the company. Can't say I would volunteer to go and do it again, but I certainly wouldn't dismiss an invitation to go, if asked.

He Always Answers On Time

In pursuit of following my dreams I hesitantly gave my two-weeks notice at my job with the Homestead and put my trust in an unreliable source of income having high hopes that it wouldn't fall out from under me during the month I was away in Washington. To my disbelief, after only being away for a couple of weeks this only source of income lived up to its unreliable name and abruptly came to a stop overnight. Thankfully I had a bit of money saved up and was ahead on my payments. There was only a couple more weeks before returning to Idaho where I would then pick up a job quickly and be back on track.

Lesson One: Reality doesn't always work out like they do in our finite minds.

Since my return home to Idaho in late-March I have had my own full-time business looking for a job. Too bad such an effort doesn't come with a bi-weekly paycheck and benefits, but instead has the opposite effect; my credit cards were getting closer and closer to the maximum limit and my the amount in my checking account was getting smaller and smaller. I was haunted each day with the thoughts of wondering how my next bill was going to be paid and if I could spare a few spare bucks to buy groceries.

Lesson Two: Breaking points are a necessity in our lives to provide growth and continued hope.

About a week and a half ago I reached at a breaking point. I have been jobless since February, all my efforts in obtaining a job seemed frivolous, and the stress from my financial situation had surmounted to the point that it revealed a side of me that I didn't like being around. (Yeah, try that one on for size...there's no escape from yourself!). I was lying on my bed that night feeling the weight of my situation heavy on my chest and I began praying - just venting to my Father in Heaven. I told him that I felt like I had reached my breaking point. As I said this the thought that came into my mind was that everybody has breaking points and we all need to come to these points because it is then that He and the Savior can pick us up and make up the difference. They are there all along holding our hands, guiding, and helping us. Sometimes that is all we need, but we all come to a time where we need Him to let go of our hands and carry us for awhile. That is why we have the Atonement. I felt comforted with this thought as I once again put my trust in Him that night knowing that He would make up the difference for me and that everything would be ok somehow.

The next morning I awoke to my cell phone ringing. Seeing that it was an unidentified number, which I normally don't answer, I felt that I should. Covering up my just-woke-up-voice as much as I could I answered the call. It was Pearl Health Clinic calling me to see if I was available for an interview for a Psycho-social Rehabilitation (PSR) opening they were seeking to fill. I excitedly (but not being completely obvious) said I would love to come in for an interview. Pearl Health Clinic was the very first place I had applied for over a month and a half previous to this phone call. I then learned that an old roommate and her husband had worked closely with the individual who does the hiring for Pearl Health Clinic and had sent him an email putting in a good word and recommended me. To say the least, my prayers that morning were full of deep gratitude.

Lesson Three: When we finally see the Light at the end of the tunnel, we still have to get to the end and reach that Light, which is still a dim and unknown journey.

The interview with Pearl Health Clinic went great! There wasn't a job offer at the end, but the possibility of one was really high. I was put back in the waiting game as I awaited his promised email with the hopeful job offer and accompanied contract sealing the deal. While playing the waiting game I got dealt an unexpected play. I received a call for an interview with Beehive Rehabilitation, another PSR agency I had applied with around the same time I applied at Pearl Health Clinic. Not having made any promising commitments with Pearl Health Clinic I gladly accepted the offer for an interview. I was told that there were several other people who were also being contacted for interviews as well. Competition. I didn't rank myself very high against my unknown opponents and didn't have high expectations of receiving the job, but was excited for the possibility nonetheless.My hopes were still invested in Pearl Health Clinic.

A lot of anxiety began to build up in me as the days ticked by with no emails from Pearl Health Clinic and as I drew closer to my other interview. I again had a lot of uncertainty and feelings of being lost. Unanswerable questions continuously raced through my mind and the stress of my finances began to leave me restless at night.

Lesson Four: Our lives are big puzzles being put together piece by piece, but the Creator sees the whole picture; after all, He made each piece.

I had an awakening one morning as I was thinking about my finances. I realized that over the past several months I have always been looking ahead wondering how the upcoming bills were going to get paid. My eyes were always affixed to the future trying to see/predict what lie ahead, but always left my wondering to the Lord to take care of.

But what if I turned around? What would I see?

I changed my perspective and beheld a stunning view that I had been missing out on. The view expanded a long ways and captured many beautiful elements. While looking at this view I realized that Heavenly Father prepared me for this time of financial famine long before it began. He had led me to put money aside, make several months of payments ahead of time on my credit cards and loans, and purchase certain types of food that would go a long ways. And during this famine He appointed certain people and certain things to come into my life and happen that would continue to aid me and allow me to go a little farther and make it a little longer. In ways only orchestrated by a Supreme Being did each month close with all my bills paid and a little extra money in my account for the next month. He has been taking care of me; it was all right there the whole time, I just needed to change my perspective. What a view! What gratitude for each element!

Lesson Five: He always answers on time.

One of the things that happened during my financial famine was the unreliable income I mentioned earlier changing to become just profitable enough to help me go that extra distance, but had once again almost completely puttered out. This brings us back to this week - lots of anxiety, unanswerable questions, and restless, long nights. With the rate of my measly income, the outstanding balance on my credit cards uncomfortably too close to their limit, still playing the waiting game, and the absolute unknown future in my mind I could see no worldly possible way for next month's loose ends to be tied. My finite mind could grasp no solution.

I then stepped out of the tunnel into the rays of Light that were just coming up over the horizon. The dawn had broken the darkness of the night. I felt the warmth of the Sun begin to warm my face.

Almost overnight my still unreliable source of income had turned from pushing me further into debt to becoming more profitable than it has been in a long, long time. I once again emerged from the red zone into green pastures. This green pasture started ever so slightly budding with beautiful vegetation when I accepted the PSR job offer presented before me this afternoon at the end of my interview with Beehive Rehabilitation.

There are still dark rain clouds looming and rolling thunder in the distance; rainstorms and trudging through the mud is in the forecast. Challenges on many levels still await to be conquered, but I know that no matter what kind of storm or famine or hell one might pass through the Lord will always answer. It may not be in our way, on our timetable, or when we think there isn't an answer. He will answer and He will answer on time and in His perfect way. He is always with us and He will carry us when we reach our breaking point until through His power we can once again walk.

Photo of the Day

Delectable Decorated Strawberries & Truffles

Photo by: Rachel
Photo taken: June 8, 2009
Chocolate Goodness made by: Rachel

Yard Sale Success!

Today I had my first yard sale. Everything happened so fast and unorganized that I am surprised at how well it turned out. Yesterday I haphazardly sent a text message to my old roommate (and owner of the townhouse I am living in), Jessica, to see if she had at all thought any more on the subject of having a yard sale like she once mentioned several weeks ago. In return I received a phone call with a very stressed and lost sounding voice on the other end. Jessica had just discovered that she had a 3-day weekend but didn't know what to do with herself with the options before her. After some talking and weighing the pros and cons and viewing things in a different perspective she all of a sudden burst into excitement with the idea of earning money selling her things at a yard sale rather than spending her money by going with the other option. It was set - a Saturday Yard Sale!

But wait? It's Friday. This is where the 'fast and unorganized' part comes into play.

Jessica arrived in Rexburg yesterday evening and in a short amount of time the house was in a chaotic mess. Unfortunately our energy puttered out after only a few hours. In that short time we managed to pile all of the things we wanted to sell in the middle of the living room leaving only a small pathway mazing through our belongings. It would be a task to sort through the next day but there wasn't any pressure because we were having our yard sale on Saturday. Or so I thought...

As Jessica and I tucked oursevles into bed last night Jessica expressed her desire to take advantage of both Friday and Saturday by having a yard sale on both days. As I was thinking that an afternoon yard sale would be just fine Jessica piped up saying that the best garage sale shoppers start at 7 or 8am in the morning and so she wanted to be out there with the early bird shoppers. *silence* My first thought went to the big pile that lay in heaps downstairs. My next thought went something like this, "Riiiiiiiiiiight." I think Jessica was underestimating what it would take to host this yard sale.

As I awoke to Jessica getting up at the crack of dawn this morning and wrestling through the things downstairs I rolled over and tried to get in a few more minutes of sleep. Finally unable to drift off to sleep I slipped out of bed and joined Jessica downstairs organzing the mess we had made the previous night. My objective was to organize things in groups and then go through and price each item. I soon came to realize that Jessica's objective was completely different. She just wanted to get everything out on the lawn - priced or not - because with each passing car driving by was one less potential yard sale shopper and one less potential sale. After having quite the discussion about our difference of opinions I began helping Jessica load the back of my truck.

Cars started stopping and yard sale shoppers began emerging from the cars while we were still unloading the truck. This made both Jessica and I very panicked and frazzled as people asked one after another, "How much are you selling this for?" "What about this?" With a dumbfounded look on our faces our responses consisted of a lot of 'ums' and stuttering as we rambled off the first number that came to our head. After the first flood of people fizzled out, with one item of ours each being sold, we quickly scrambled to set everything up and put price tags on everything before the next wave came.

Our yard sale was different than most yard sales. This wasn't the typical last-effort-before-hitting-the-DI yard sale. The things that we were selling were quality items and we priced them as such. Many people were surprised at the prices, but one of our customers truthfully commented, "Wow, it looks like you brought everything from your living room out here!" "We did!" I responded. We held strong to our prices, only letting them drop a few dollars from our original set price.

With the last minute decision to do our yard sale today we didn't have time to make or put up any advertisements. But when I had to make a quick errand I noticed that a "garage sale" sign was posted at the end of our street with another sign posted just down the street from where our yard sale was located. So, THANKS to whomever posted those signs and SORRY for taking away some of your shoppers!

The wind started blowing pretty hard around 1:30pm and so we decided to close shop just after one last good sale. Jessica sold about 90% of her things and earned a good amount of money. The number of things I had was significantly more because I included all of my old textbooks from school in with everything else. Not selling a single book I still made out better than I thought I would. And including the sale of my Lov Sac from last week it felt like an even more success.

Since we were able to sale the majority of our things we decided that there wasn't a need to have another yard sale tomorrow. We were satisfied with what we sold and were content with giving a lot of the remaining things to DI. The big things that I didn't sale will soon be posted either on Craigslist or eBay.

A few extra bucks in this girl's pocket and a smile on her face is a good way to end a Friday.

Scenery Complete

After a year the scene is finally complete! I didn't realize how much of an eye-sore the big white block was where the missing panel of my wall mural was supposed to be until after putting up the last piece of the mural this afternoon. It looks so much better! It looks complete! Although it was a challenge to place the last panel on the wall by myself, with it not turning out as great as all of the other mural panels (of course oblivious to the non-perfectionists out there), it still feels so good to have something in my life complete - even if it is just a beautiful scenery on my wall. Now I can thoroughly enjoy this beautiful God-created place completely.

Freshly Grounded

When I worked at the cannery several weeks I ago I snagged a couple cans of whole wheat grains in anticipation of my newly owned wheat grinder. Running out of bread before my Colorado trip I decided to make my own whole wheat homemade bread with freshly ground wheat instead of going to store to buy some bread. To say the least, I can hardly keep my hands off the loaf of bread. It is extremely delicious, soft, and moist!
















I have done some reading in the past about the health benefits of sprouted breads and flours verses non-sprouted grains. I have found it very interesting and would love to give homemade sprouted bread a shot. An educational challenge indeed.

Downsizing & Decluttering

I inherited the pack-rat disease from my father. It's a disease that takes up every inch of your closet, bedroom, box, storage space, and nook and cranny of the house (and anywhere else it can squeeze in). It even spreads itself abroad to different locations. My disease currently stretches from Idaho to Texas. I was finally able to take Arizona out of the picture - thanks to Julius and Adria. The great thing about this disease (if there is such a thing) is that it is pretty manageable and easy to control for the most part. It when I try to rid myself of this disease that all chaos breaks loose and it really becomes uncontrollable - things are everywhere and the piles never seem to get smaller or disappear. I guess that is why pack-rat disease is very hard to rid myself of because it's so much easier to have it!

Several weeks ago I came to the conclusion, for one reason or another, that I needed to downsize and declutter. There are a lot of things that I have that I don't need or use and could go without. I haven't managed to climb down into the crawl space and go through the many bins of things I have down there yet, but I have done a few things so far. One is selling the school books I have (that won't be bought back from BYU-Idaho) online. I haven't sold as nearly as much as I would have liked or thought I would have, but slowly but surely one by one they are disappearing off my shelf.

I just sold my Lov Sac today. :(... I have wanted a lov sac for a really long time before I was able to purchase one for my bedroom as part of my fantasy room. But desperate times call for desperate measures. I loved my Lov Sac but it's not a necessity and is something that I can do without until I have really established my roots in a home somewhere and am more financially secure. As I sit on the floor in my bedroom where its home once was I know it will be missed.


Now all I need is the motivation to go into the crawl space and sort through the things down there to see what else is sale-able or DI worthy. I will even be joining my old roommate in a garage sale in a week or two. Someone else's junk is another person's treasure!

Colorado Getaway

For an extended Memorial Day weekend I met up with my friend Stephanie in Colorado to traipse around the state as much as we could. Like most places around the United States, Colorado got dumped on with rain, which prevented us from doing several of the activities we really wanted to do. We still managed to get in quite a few fun adventures in despite the gloomy weather. Here are the highlights of the trip:

Denver, Colorado Temple
Getting to Colorado late Saturday night this was the first place we visited on Sunday after church. Because of the looming storm clouds everyday the lighting was awful for outside pictures, but we did our best to capture everything as best we could.

I forgot my water in the car and we happened to be
standing by the temple's fountain....

There were a variety of different pretty flowers landscaped around the temple. I don't know what these are called, but they were my favorite because they were in the shapes of hearts.

This is the view from the front of the Branson's vacant house where we stayed. The mountain in the distance is Pike's Peak - a well known mountain in the United States and one of the only mountains that you can drive a car to the very top at 14,000 ft. They have lots of bottled oxygen on hand. We weren't able to go to the top because of the snow Pike's Peak received.

GARDEN OF THE GODS

Effortlessly holding up a 16 ton boulder.
What you don't see is my super-woman suit under my clothes.

Stephanie sitting under the 16 ton boulder praying an earthquake won't happen.

Stephanie and I taking shelter under an overhanging rock from the rain and lightening strikes of the storm rolling over Garden of the Gods.

One of the many red rock towers that were jetting out of the earth.

A side view of what most of these red rock towers looked like. Bewildering!

Climbing up, on, and around the many crevasses we
found throughout Garden of the Gods.

Stephanie taking in the adventure and challenge of climbing the red rock.

What a view!
What a perfect and fitting name for this place.

Stephanie and I at the end of our trek around Garden of the Gods.

ANASAZI CLIFF DWELLINGS
(Mom you would have LOVED this)

View of almost all of the cliff dwellings there that were occupied up until 1984.

It was really exciting for me to visit these cliff dwellings. They have a personal meaning to me and are more than just ancient dwellings.

No, this is not a dog house but an oven for baking loaves of bread. I think up to 16 loaves could be baked at once in this oven.

This was where some of the food/cooking duties that the men had took place. There was a place in there that looked like there were several manos and matats used (a round rock and a rock slab to grind wheat and seeds). Very cool.

A Tipi (tepee) - one of my dream homes.

Stephanie playing and dancing right along with Mr. Kokepelli.

I thought this was another very interesting part of the dwellings. This is one of the back rooms that served as a garbage area. The Indians would throw their scraps that were unburnable/unusable into this room. And during the winter when the ground was too hard to bury somebody they would place the body in this room with the garbage where it become perfectly mummified because of how dry it stayed.

Sitting on the second floor of a two small-family dwelling.

A middle section of the cliff dwellings which all ran together.

CAVE OF THE WINDS

A bear near the entrance of the cave of the winds.
Just wrestling it down. No big deal.

This is the ceiling of a part in the cave. We decided to go on the Lantern Lit tour of the caves. It was really educational and interesting, but we didn't have much opportunity to take many pictures of the cave as we would have liked. The pictures we did take were our desperate attempts to capture some of them as we were on our way out of the cave.

The wall and ceiling of the cave near the entrance we came in.

Beware: I'm as fierce as a bear. Grrr.

FOX RUN PARK

Fox Run Park is a nearby park to the Branson's Colorado home. It was a pretty nice little park with lots of trails spurring off from the main one around the lake.

A little squirrel friend we met as we strolled around the park. He was quite tame.

COWS!!
(This is for you Grandma & Mom)

I spotted these cows as we passed a ranch on one of the many
country roads we were driving down. I had to stop to get pictures by them!
Cows forever and for always!

Don't worry, these cows aren't coming home anytime soon. ;o)
(Bunches and bunches, forever and ever, til the cows come home!)

The sunset on our way home the last evening we were in Colorado.

I think I went to or through Colorado when I was younger, but I don't remember it at all. I am glad that I was able to venture out and visit it again and visit the places that we did. It is a very beautiful state and makes me want to live out in the country. Hopefully next time it won't rain every day and I'll be able to go on some of the original planned adventures. But all in all, it was a fun getaway! Thanks Stephanie!

Look at more pictures from our Colorado Adventures on my Photobucket