in⋅tim⋅i⋅date – verb:

to make timid; fill with fear; the feeling of discouragement in the face of someone's superior fame or wealth or status etc.

I can't remember a time in recent years where I felt as intimidated as I did when I entered the classroom for the orientation of a 3-day Whitewater Rescue course and saw more than a dozen of middle-aged men sitting around the tables, creating a U-shape, filling the room. As much as I tried to mask the fear in my eyes it could have easily been cut with a knife it was so thick. Taking a seat and trying to avoid eye contact with anybody I learned that the majority of the men present were river guides from Solitude Float Trips in the Grand Teton National Park. The other men that made up the remainder of the group were two fire fighters and four BYU-Idaho Recreation faculty members. I was the ONLY girl and the ONLY person with basically no experience on whitewater.

I began to wonder, "Why am I here?" "Do I really need to take this course?" "Will this course really help or make a difference in my future desired profession?" "Will I even use these skills?" "Could I get a full refund if I dropped out tonight?" . . . "I don't want to be the one who impeeds everybody else's learning because of my lack of experience." "I am sure everybody already knows the basics of whitewater rescue and are looking for more advance techniques but won't be able to because of me..."

My mind was reeling. I seriously contemplated excusing myself from this course. Despite the intimidation that was weighing on my chest like a ton of bricks causing the labored pounding of my heart to echo in my ears, I held strong; 3 days strong. And I don't regret one minute of it.

Most members of my team that I worked the closest with during the course. I am on the left fully decked out in my wetsuit that amazingly kept me warm in near freezing water temperatures.

The gang rigging up a Z-Drag to pull an entrapped kayak out of the water. Note the snow in the background; we had received several inches days before the course began.

The next two days on the river were extremely educational as they were filled with an in-depth look at reading water, recognizing and avoiding hazards, quick rescue techniques, boat-based rescues, dealing with boat wraps and entrapments, technical rescue systems, and a varity of practical scenarios. Not only did I learn many valuable skill and techniques, but I gained a new confidence in myself with this additional life-saving knowledge that has allowed me to be that much more prepared in the case of a white/swift water emergency.

I am grateful for the patience of my fellow classmates as well as their desire for me to learn and succeed right along next to them. I am grateful for my instructors from Montana River Guides who were able to meet the needs and educational desires of everybody despite what level of training they previously had. And I am grateful for all the encouragement and support I received from others which gave me the additional courage to face my fears and do it anyway!